Feeding Your Baby...Some Things to Consider

As my babies grow up, I find myself sad, deeply missing parts of their babyhood. The one thing I miss above all others, is one of motherhood's biggest debates...breastfeeding. I rarely mention this, as I don't want to make people uncomfortable (men), and make mothers feel bad (the ones that bottle feed). And yet, I don't want to let this part of my life pass by without recording the memories and lessons I have learned from this experience. So men be warned, you might want to skip this post if the subject makes you uncomfortable! And bottle feeding moms, keep on reading, I promise not to make you feel bad.

I think one of the biggest obstacles that breastfeeding faces is the lack of support from the medical community. I mean, doctors hand new moms formula left and right! In most hospitals, they freak out when the baby doesn't eat in the first 24 hours (this is COMPLETELY normal by the way), and try to force formula on the breastfed baby from the start. As I said before, it is not my intent to make a mother who chooses to feed her baby formula feel bad, but there is absolutely no comparison between breastmilk and formula. One is designed by God, the other by man in a factory...no contest which is the better choice for baby. And yet, most of modern society rarely acknowledges that fact. They make it all too easy for a Mom who wanted to breastfeed, to switch to the bottle. "The baby will sleep better," "The baby is not gaining enough weight we need to supplement," "It will be easier for you." None of those statements are true.

Now, there are some cases where the mother has no choice but to bottle feed. Not enough milk is produced (this is much rarer than the medical community makes it out to be however, often times the mother is producing plenty of milk), the mother is HIV positive, the mother is on medication that ends up in the breastmilk, or the baby is adopted (even mulitiples don't get a pass here, my cousin breastfed her twins...although triplets or more would probably need to have a formula supplement). Thank God we do have formula for these babies. And as I said before, I'm not necessarily against a mother choosing to feed formula to her baby. But I am against the medical community portraying bottle feeding as a good alternative to breastmilk...it is an alternative, but it is a vastly inferior one.

So, for the future mother who wants to breastfeed her future baby, here are my tips on how to have a successful breastfeeding relationship:

1. Have a supportive husband. This is the most important one of all. I am blessed to have a husband who thinks "breast is best" and supported me breastfeeding all our babies. In fact, he probably would have convinced me to breastfeed even if I didn't think I wanted to, he believes in it so much.

2. Stay at Home. Although many working mothers, successfully breastfeed their babies by pumping, it is so much harder. Being a mom is hard enough, I can't imagine working a 40 hour job AND pumping 2 to 3 times a day!

3. Give Birth in a Baby Friendly Hospital if Possible. Breastfeeding right after the baby is born, unless there is a medical emergency, is so important to a good breastfeeding relationship. Make signs for the baby's bassinet in the hospital stating that the baby is breastfed, and not to give the baby ANY bottles OR pacifiers. Introducing an artificial nipple to early can hamper a good breastfeeding relationship. Keep the baby with you by having the baby sleep in your room.

4. Have a Supportive Pediatrician. So many times, it seems the doctor is the one to say the baby needs "supplemental formula." While I think there are occasions when Mom doesn't produce enough milk, I think that they tend to overact. As long as your baby is producing the correct number of wet and dirty diapers, they are getting enough to eat.

5. Educate Yourself. Breastfeeding is not always easy, knowing what to expect and how to do it correctly are essential for a good breastfeeding relationship. Take a class at your hospital before the baby is born. I did this and it was a wonderful wealth of knowledge. Read everything you can get your hands on. My first pediatrician gave me The New Mother's Guide to Breastfeeding, it is a wonderful resource.

6. Take Advantage of the Lactation Consultant in the Hospital. If your hospital doesn't have one, a lot of L&D nurses are also quite experience in this area. Some insurances pay for visits after you are released if you are having trouble, these ladies can be a great resource. Even if you have to pay, it's going to cost you less than formula!

7. Start your baby on a sleep schedule as soon as breastfeeding is well established (usually when they are one week old). I am so tired of "experts" leading people to believe that a breastfeeding mom has to be tied down to their baby every second of every day and feed them whenever they look hungry. A tired Mom is not good for a breastfeeding relationship. Do realize that most babies will not sleep through the night until they are at least 2 months old...their little tummies are simply not big enough. With your first baby, sleep when baby sleeps. That way you won't be a complete zombie. When you have older children, this is not always possible. Except help when you can get it! Most babies should be sleeping through the night by 3 months. Babywise is an excellent resource to sleep train your breastfed OR bottle fed baby. I also enjoyed The Baby Whisper, these books are both very similar. The basic key in both books to getting a baby to learn to sleep well, is to make sure baby is getting full feedings. You may have to endure a little bit of crying, but I promise you will be thanking God when your 6 month old baby goes down for naps and nighttime without a fuss in their own bed.

8. Start pumping as soon as breastfeeding is well established. You are kidding yourself if you think you will never be away from your baby for a whole year. I tried to pump once a day, usually in the morning. I never had a fancy pump, I used the Avent Isis Manual Pump. Since I only needed bottle for the church nursery and occasional nights out (date nights, ladies meetings, etc) this worked out just fine for me. If you are working, you want to invest in a high quality double electric pump. With my 3rd baby, I even went to Ladies Conference! I was so scared of leaving my babies for more than a night for fear of losing my milk supply, but with my trusty pump (and freezer full of milk) we didn't' miss a beat!

9. Start your baby on a bottle after breastfeeding is established...but don't wait too long! Babies are smart...when they realize that bottle feeding is easier, they often refuse to keep breastfeeding. Never introduce a bottle of pumped milk until baby is in the "love stage." You'll know when they are in this stage when they simply adore to nurse. This is usually around 2 weeks old. Don't wait too long though, or you'll have a baby that doesn't take a bottle very well. And trust me, you'll need breaks from baby.

10. Even if you are not able to feed your baby "full time"..for instance, babies takes bottles of formula when you are working, keep at it. The more breastmilk that baby can get, the better. Even if you breastfeed for only 2 months instead of one year, that's better than nothing! My advice to new moms is to at least give it a chance...if it doesn't end up working out, at least you tried. And for those who don't think they want to breastfeed, please give it one chance. You might be pleasantly surprised. It is my number one best memory from all three of my children's baby years. And when I was pregnant with number 2 and 3, it was the thing I looked forward to the most.

11. Find a place to breastfeed if you are a modest lady. I think that is one thing that stops some modest ladies from breastfeeding. But it is so easy to find places to feed your baby. A favorite of mine was the lounge room in nice department stores. Your car is a great place also. And I've never thought twice about asking people if I could go somewhere privately to feed my baby when I was in their home. Church is a little more tricky, I admit the only place I felt comfortable with my first baby, Abigail, was in the bathroom. The nursery just has too many men in it. But with Andrew, we had moved, and our church nursery has a lovely little kitchenette with a lock on the door, and there was a big comfy chair in it...a perfect nursing spot. And with Annabelle, our church had just added some nice chairs in our ladies room perfect for nursing (since Andrew was in the nursery, it was better if I didn't go in there to nurse, it would have upset him having Mom come in and out). If you don't have a comfortable place, ask for one! If you can find an out of the way spot with a locking door, you can even set up a folding chair. And as a last resort, like I've mentioned before, the car is a great place!

12. Don't wait too long to start weaning. My babies were all weaned differently. The AAP recommends breastfeeding for one year, and the WHO (world health organization) recommends breastfeeding for two years. I stopped somewhere in the middle for each baby (15 months, 13 months, and 14 months). I've done cold turkey, gradually reducing feedings, and even going on a trip. The trip worked the best, but since that's not always possible, I recommend gradually reducing feedings. The cold turkey was a nightmare! And start your baby on sippy cups of juice and water when they are about 10 months old. At a year, have them start drinking whole milk. So as you reduce nursing sessions, you already have them drinking the milk out of a cup.

If you need an incentive to try breastfeeding with your next baby, check out 101 Reasons to Breastfeed Your Child. You will lower your risk for breast cancer, lower your female baby's risk for breast cancer, pass on immunities to your baby, and lots of other amazing benefits for both mother and baby.

I hope this post hasn't made any uncomfortable. I just wanted to record my "breastfeeding tips" before I forgot them all! And as a final note, I just wanted to mention the following, not to make myself look good or anything, but just to show you that it can be done. Not one of my babies ever drank a drop of formula and they were all breastfed a year or more.