Being a Keeper

Well, it's been a long time since I've posted anything besides pictures etc. Facebooking is so much easier than blogging! But, sometimes that longing to just ramble comes out:)

I've been really trying to focus on reading some nonfiction lately (besides my Bible). Reading fiction is so easy for me, and I LOVE to reread my favorites. I can't tell you how many times I've read Jane Austen (Persuasion is my favorite book of all time). But there is just something about improving yourself that is important. I plan to discuss a book Billy and I read together, In Defense of Food soon, but I really wanted to discuss the book I've just started reading today (again) first.

While I was looking in my book closet for a good read for the next couple of days, I felt impressed to reread The Keeper by Marthalee Lyman. Now I know some of yall have read it, but I really recommend that every married lady read this book! In today's world, we are taught to only think of ourselves. This thinking that "it's all about me" can creep into our marriages, especially when you were not raised in church. It was very hard for me when I first got married. I really didn't understand how to treat my husband properly (even though I had great premarital counseling). You see, I had been living on my own since I was 18. I got married when I was 24, so I had been living on my own or with roomies for 6 years. I was very used to how things should "be done" and I'm a little OCD in how I like things done LOL.

I thought I was doing what a good wife should be doing, and I was. I cooked good meals (with a disaster every now and then;), cleaned our apartment, did all the shopping...but I was doing it with a bad attitude because I didn't think my husband was treating me the way he was "supposed to." I didn't realize that although your husband becomes your best friend, he does not take the place of your girlfriends! Keeping up your friendships even when you get married is so important (thanks to my girl for calling me today just to chat, love you)! Now I'm not saying run around with the girls and let hubby eat a cold sandwich for dinner. But do make time for them in your lives, you will be a better wife when your needs are met.

Take care of your house and family with a cheerful attitude. Remember ladies, YOU set the tone in your house. This one can be hard, I'm so guilty of this. I know this is not popular, but try very hard to work as little as possible outside the home even when you don't have kids. When we were first married, not only did I work full time but I often worked overtime, and I was finishing my masters degree on top of it all. This left two very stressed out newlyweds who were trying to get the house and order and supper on the table, forget about spending time together.

The sad part is that I would have had to work a lot less if I had not made stupid choices right when we got married. I married my wonderful husband knowing that he came with quite a bit of debt (due to various circumstances). But I still wanted to live in a "nice" apartment. So we both moved out of our cheap apartments, and rented something twice as expensive! We never did stop living paycheck to paycheck. Praise God, He provided a way for me to stay home with Abigail when she was born (I always want to be at home with my children).

Then, when we moved to Wichita Falls, our income got cut in half. My wonderful mom provided a job for me that I could take my kiddos to and do a lot at home as well. But, I still did stupid! Since I "had to" work, I wanted a "nice" house and a "nice" car. Not smart! Cause even when Billy's income rose back up to where it used to be, now we had payments (we had a VERY small mortgage and NO car payments when we lived in San Antonio) and I couldn't stop working!! It was then we found Dave Ramsey (thanks to Andrew and Mandy for that), and we cut our lifestyle in order to pay off our debt. Now, I have gotten to be at home full time (except 2 days a month) and it is such a blessing! Our home is running so much smoother even with a newborn in the house. I'm not feeling guilty about not keeping the house in order and cooking good meals because now I have the time to do these things (these are the things women were created to do, we were made to take care of our men and children).

Of course, I still have a LOT to work on, which is why I'm rereading this wonderful book. As a lovely facebook friend posted today, "The truth will set you free, but it will make you angry first." I think we get angry often times because we feel guilty about not doing what we should. I know the areas this book makes me want to work on...being sweeter to my husband and children, being more fun and playful, talking more with my friends, and above all to develop the kind of prayer life I hope my children have some day.